Everything For A Reason?

People say that “everything happens for a reason.”

I don’t know where that quote came from. I Googled it and results were all over the place, including Marilyn Monroe. But I know that I don’t agree with it in the slightest. Further, I think subscribing to such a belief instills a self-limiting and potentially self-destructive mindset. 

For starters, plenty of things happen for no reason whatsoever. 

Plane crashes. Mass shootings. Cancer. SIDS. My wife’s surgery getting botched and nearly killing her last year.

There’s no reason for any of that; it just happens.

But, more to my point, choosing to believe that everything happens “for some reason” is to believe that nothing happens because I make it happen. 

I suppose one could twist the words around to mean that if I make something happen that I, myself, am the reason. 

But we all know that’s not how that phrase is used. It’s used to suggest that everything happens because of god or prayer or karma or some cosmic force. 

I’m not saying that stuff doesn’t exist, mind you. 

What I’m saying is that we have far more control over our lives that the “everything happens for a reason” mindset allows. 

Random things happen all the time for no reason at all. I listed some bad ones earlier, but good ones happen too. Like winning the lottery. There’s not rhyme or reason behind why people win the lottery. 

Aside from the random I am largely in control of my own life and my own destiny. We all are. We are products of the actions we’ve taken and the decisions we’ve made over the last five years. 

The thoughts in our head result from the media, music, television, books, movies, and other content we’ve chosen to consume.

Our bodies are the shape that they are because of what we’ve chosen to eat and how we’ve moved. 

We are in the jobs we are in because that’s what we chose to do and where we chose to stay.

We are in the relationships we have because we’ve chosen to create and maintain them.

Our minds, bodies, businesses, and relationships are all where they are today because of what we’ve chosen to do with them over the previous years, not some intangible or unfathomable “reason.”

For me believing that the things that happen to me are simply for this “reason” is the wrong mindset and I reject it in favor of believing that I have a very large degree of control over my life.