I sure wish the sun would come out.
This morning I woke up in a thick fog of depression. I had zero desire to get out of the bed. In fact, despite waking up around 4, I didn’t get up until nearly 6.
I kept pulling the covers over my head and pretending the birds weren’t chirping.
Y’all ever do that?
I struggle with depression from time to time. I come by it honestly though, it’s in my blood. Most everybody in my family has struggled with it at some point, some much worse that others. For one of my grandmothers it was so severe that she was hospitalized. Some folks in the family have even attempted suicide.
And some succeeded. I never got the chance to meet my Uncle David, he took his own life long before I was born.
I feel bad for people that have chronic, long term depression. I’m only rarely affected by it and it’s usually short-lived. I’ve learned, over the years, to recognize it. That alone is a huge help because I can say to myself, “look man, you’re depressed today. You know that it won’t last so you have to just go through the motions until you feel better.”
And when I can do that things start to get easier. The next thing I’ll do is pick some small goal that I can easily achieve in order to have a sense of accomplishment. Today that goal was making the bed. And this sounds silly, I’m sure, but making the bed seemed like climbing a mountain. I really wanted to get back in it, not make it up. But when I was done, sure enough, I felt the sense of accomplishment that I was after. And from there the next thing I had to do was a little bit easier.
You know what else helps? Writing about it. The simple act of putting these words on paper is incredibly therapeutic. Even if nobody reads it I’ll still reap the benefits of having written it down. This might sound silly, too, but I already feel way better than I did when I started writing this 15 minutes ago. And the benefit is compounded. Since writing every day is a goal for me I’m now able to put another check on the to-do list.
The bed is made.
The writing is done.
If I can do that, I can do anything.